Vulnerable Cards

Positive Supports

“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” — Helen Keller

Positive supports are the people in your life who lift you up – the ones who listen when you need to talk, show up when things are hard, and remind you that you matter. They might be close friends, family, mentors, teachers, support groups, or even kind coworkers. Having this kind of support doesn’t mean everything suddenly becomes easy, but it does mean you don’t have to carry everything alone. It’s completely normal to feel unsure about asking for help – many of us do – but reaching out is actually a sign of strength, not weakness. Research shows that feeling connected to others makes us more resilient, less overwhelmed, and generally healthier – both emotionally and physically. Supportive people are like a safety net: catching you when you feel like you’re falling. They celebrate your wins and help you get back up after a fall. Just talking to someone who truly listens can make a tough day feel a little more manageable. And when you know someone has your back, it’s easier to face whatever’s ahead. Over time, surrounding yourself with kind, encouraging people can build your confidence and make you feel more at home in the world. It’s also worth noticing who brings you down – it’s okay to set boundaries or create space when someone is constantly negative or unsupportive. Building a strong support system is one of the most valuable things you can do for your mental health. You deserve people in your life who remind you that you’re not alone, and who help you grow, heal, and move forward.

Practical Tips

  • Identify Your Support Team: Take a moment to list the people in your life who make you feel safe, happy, or stronger. These could be family members, friends, a counselor or coach, or even an online support group. Don’t forget pets – a loyal dog or cat can be an emotional support too! Keep this list somewhere handy.
  • Reach Out Regularly: Try to connect with your positive supports on a regular basis, not just when you’re in crisis. Send a quick text to a friend, call a family member, or make plans to meet up. Maintaining these relationships when things are calm makes it easier to ask for help during tough times. For example, you might aim to call at least one friend or loved one each day or each week, even just to say hi.
  • Communicate Openly: When you’re struggling, practice telling someone you trust what you feel and what you need. It could be as simple as, “I’ve been feeling down lately, can we talk?” or “I could really use some advice about X.” Being honest and direct (in a kind way) helps others understand how to support you. Remember, your true supporters want to know if you’re not okay.
  • Ask for Specific Help: Don’t be afraid to ask for the kind of help you’d like. For instance, say you’re stressed about an upcoming exam. You could ask a friend, “Would you mind quizzing me for a half-hour?” or tell a parent, “I don’t need solutions, I just want to vent – can you listen?” Most people appreciate knowing how they can best help. Clear requests make it easier for them to be there for you.
  • Reciprocate Support: Strong support systems are mutual. Be the positive support for your friends and family, too. Listen to them when they need it, celebrate their wins, and offer help where you can. It creates a give-and-take balance. For example, if a friend always drives you to work when you need a ride, offer to help them with something in return. Even simply saying “Thank you, I really appreciate you” strengthens the bond. When your supporters feel valued, the connection grows even stronger.
  • Join Communities: If you feel your current circle is limited, consider finding new support outlets. This could mean joining a club, sports team, or class related to something you enjoy (art, gaming, exercise, etc.), or an online forum for people with similar experiences (for example, a support group for anxiety). Shared interests or struggles help people bond. By putting yourself out there a bit, you increase the chances of meeting understanding, positive people.
  • Set Boundaries with Negativity: Gently limit time with individuals who constantly criticize, belittle, or drain you. You don’t necessarily have to cut anyone out completely (especially if it’s family), but it’s okay to protect yourself. You might choose to spend more time with friends who uplift you, and less with a friend who only complains or puts you down. Think of it as choosing a healthy environment for your mind – like how a plant needs good soil, you need a positive social environment to thrive.

Example Scenario

When Jamal moved to a new city for college, everything felt unfamiliar and isolating. The classes were intense, and he didn’t know anyone yet. Instead of staying stuck in that lonely feeling, he decided to do something about it. First, he thought about who was already in his corner—his older sister back home, who always had his back, and a close friend from high school who happened to be going to a nearby college. He started calling his sister every Sunday night to catch up, and it became something they both looked forward to. He also texted his old friend to grab lunch, and that simple reach-out turned into a regular hangout. Feeling a little more connected, Jamal took another step and joined a volunteer club on campus—he figured doing something good for others might help him feel better too. Through the club, he met a couple of friendly students, and they started studying together and hanging out after events. One day before finals, when anxiety hit hard, Jamal texted one of them and said he was freaking out a bit. His friend came over to study and reassured him with a quick “You’ve got this.” His sister also sent him a meme and a quick pep talk, which made him laugh. That moment clicked—he still felt anxious, but he wasn’t alone anymore. By leaning into the connections he already had and building a few new ones, Jamal found himself surrounded by people who cared. That made all the difference.

Resources

Online Community: “7 Cups” by 7 Cups of Tea Co. A free website and app where you can anonymously connect with trained “active listeners” and peer support groups. If you’re feeling alone or hesitant to talk to someone you know, this is a resource to get non-judgmental emotional support any time. (It’s meant to supplement, not replace, real-life support, but can be very comforting in a pinch.)

Podcast: “Loneliness and Connection” by Brené Brown with Dr. Vivek Murthy. A heartfelt conversation on how meaningful relationships and community are essential for health and resilience.

Book: “Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World” by Vivek H. Murthy (2020). Written by a physician (and former U.S. Surgeon General), this book explores why supportive relationships are crucial for our well-being. It includes inspiring true stories and simple ways to nurture deeper connections with others.

Article: “How Social Support Contributes to Mental Health” on Verywell Mind. An informative overview of the benefits of social support, citing psychological studies. It explains, in easy terms, how feeling supported can make you more resilient to stress and even improve physical health. It also gives pointers on strengthening your support network.

Video: “The Power of Human Connection” by Giovanna Lever (TEDx, 2019). Giovanna Lever discusses how nurturing our communities and those close to us can have profound impacts on our lives. She emphasizes the significance of small, simple changes in daily interactions to strengthen bonds and foster a sense of belonging.

Video: “How to Unlock the Power of Positive Connection” by Marion Riteco-Regtop (TEDx, 2022). Marion Riteco-Regtop explores the transformative power of positive connections in our lives. She shares strategies to build and maintain meaningful relationships that contribute to personal growth and happiness.

Video: “The Need for Human Connection and Why It Starts with Ourselves” by Molly Carroll (TEDx, 2020). A look at how self-awareness and compassion are foundational to building healthy relationships.

Video: “Emotional Glitter: The Power of Connection” by Jenilee Taylor (TEDx, 2018). Shares the emotional richness of meaningful relationships and how connection helps us shine through challenges.

Video: “Who Supports You?” by Rushikesh Pande (TEDx, 2021). Reflects on the importance of recognizing, building, and appreciating the support systems that uplift us through life.